Friday, May 16, 2014

Canadian Problems

Ahh, Mister Thistle, I see here that you are Canadian. Well then, let me regale you with my knowledge of Canada and attempts to quiz you on your homeland.

The previous situation has happened more than once to me. When it comes up with some new acquaintances that I am Canadian, they feel the need to quiz me on Canada for whatever purpose. This is humourous most times.

Now I am not high and mighty, there is more I don't know about Canada than I care to mention. And don't get me started on my lack of knowledge of America. I am learning stuff here all the time that I had no knowledge of being in Canada thinking about Canadian problems.

Here are a couple I have gotten that I found amusing:
  • What's the national sport of Canada?
    • Lacrosse.
    • I have gotten this one multiple times. Usually by men who have played lacrosse. They are usually shocked I know this.
  • Why are you still killing seals?
    • This one was a long time ago but still it stuck with me.
    • I tried to explain the explosion in seal stocks and the impact on the fishery this was having to no avail.
    • I countered with, how are your Buffalo herds doing?
  • Do you swim in Canada?
    • That is, does it ever get warm enough in the summer to swim in lakes and such? The answer, yes.
  • So you play hockey?
    • No, I don't. I've played road hockey a bit. I have never played organized ice hockey, never owned hockey gear beyond a stick and skates, and never played on a team. I played some pond hockey (maybe 5 times in my life). I can't stop, I can barely cross cut, and I don't think I can do a slap shot.
    • So, no, I don't think I am qualified to say I play hockey.
  • John from Toronto? Jean from Montreal? Nope I don't know them.
    • Can't say I met their extended family but who knows.
  • What kind of beer do you drink there?
    • Not sure why anyone cares but we have beer in Canada. It is good. I don't drink Labatt's Blue or other mainstream beers. I drink the same stuff I drink everywhere, microbrews and European beers. Ya, I am a beer hipster.
The joys of being a foreigner in a strange land.


Unknown said...

You can one-up the lacrosse guys by pointing out that lacrosse is technically the national summer sport of Canada and hockey is the national winter sport.

Unknown said...

Thanks Grant! That's a great one to know.